Broken Heart Survival Guide
Get back up stronger and start a new life
It is time to let go when your partner wants to end the relationship with you, and he/she insists on never coming back to you again. It is pointless to go after your soon to be ex – after all, if you love him/her, you would wish him/her happiness, right? Get all the info you need here.
Chapter 1:
Getting Starting In Property Investing
Synopsis
These are some ways to help you accept the reality of
breaking up, thus becoming more confident in yourself and successfully picking
yourself up.
The Basics
Avoid negative thoughts. Do not let the negative
emotions or feelings take charge of your well-being. Being negative would not
turn the situation around, but having positive thoughts would help you feel
better, and recover from the heartbreak easily.
Throw away the memories. Throw away stuff that would
remind you of your ex – the couples’ T-shirt, the pillow that he gave you, the
watch what she bought you on Valentine’s Day, etc. You should start looking forward
in life as this will help to recover faster and to get ready for the next
relationship.
Do something that you usually will not try. Challenge
yourself to climb mountains or swim across the ocean. Achieving something new
in your life will give you contentment, and make you realize that the breakup
is not a big deal.
Release your feelings healthily. Take up gym sessions
or get into an exercise routine. Writing it out, if you find it hard not to
think of the breakup may help to put things into perspective. These actions may
help you to feel better and allow you to have a clearer understanding of the
breakup.
Think of the flaws of your ex. If you still cannot
get over the breakup, think of all the bad things about your ex – do not remind
yourself again that he/she is the kind and loving one, a good sex partner, an
understanding one….
Chapter 2:
Lesson learned from this relationship
Synopsis
A breakup is painful, but it is not completely
terrible either. At least, you gained one more experience on love and life. One
day, when you have healed completely from the heartbreak, you will find
yourself smiling over the silly things you have done.
Learning from this relationship
which has now come to an end:
Lessons Learned
You know how to choose a better partner. You will
feel more confident with yourself and your choice. You will know what is best
for yourself and who deserves your genuine love and care.
You learned how to treat your future partner better.
Through this relationship, you understand better what really makes him/her
happy.
You know when
to give encouragements, and when to avoid picking on him/her. You know what
must or must not be done, what should or should not be talked about.
You learned how to handle heartbreak better. In case
there is another failed relationship in the future, you will be stronger as you had
gone through this experience before, and would not be as fragile about love
life. You know what you can do to pick yourself up.
Besides, through
this experience, you may know how to communicate better with other people.
You learned how to respect others. When you are in a
relationship, you care for your partner most of the time, trying to understand
each other and avoid complications in life.
You learned to
respect the other person’s personal time and space, as well as his/her rights
to speak out.
You will get to know yourself better, as opposed to
presuming, you know who you are. Your partner is like a mirror to you – it
reflects your personality and character, or ways to handle daily
activities. You would slowly realize
your own mistakes as your partner points them out to you.
Chapter 3:
Stop the blaming & forget the past
Synopsis
To survive a breakup, you must be generous and try to
forget the past. Why would you want the negative emotions to continue with no
end in sight and stuck in your mind, affecting you in your everyday life
functions? If you still have feelings towards your ex, forgive him/her totally;
forgiveness is the greatest love act of all.
Have A Look
Do not blame anyone for everything. A breakup occurs
when there are problems caused by both parties. Stop the thoughts that your ex
is the one with all faults. Do not blame yourself for what you have done either
and keep from regretting things.
Do not question yourself, neither what you should
have actually done at that time. The relationship is over now, so why continue
to figure out what to do to curb the problems, especially if there is no chance
to reconcile. At this moment, you should focus on how to get rid of the
heartbreak and not sticking with it.
Do not let yourself look backward. Stop reminding
yourself about the failures in the relationship, including checking back all
the text messages and emails from your ex in the past. Do not allow all this to
be the stumbling block that blocks you from thinking for yourself.
Remember the good, ditch the bad. Remember the good
memories that both of you shared together; but avoid reflecting back on the bad
times and pressures, as this will make you feel less confident to start a new
relationship.
Focus on the future. Whatever you experienced in this
relationship, take it as experiences that bring you to a whole new level of
examining yourself and moving towards a better future. It is never a good thing
to reflect on all the problems faced in the relationship, but when you do, make
sure you know how to find ways to improve yourself for the better.
Chapter 4:
Stay away from your ex
Synopsis
This is the best way to get rid of having clingy
feelings or emotional dependency towards your ex – stay away from your ex. Try to
avoid staying in touch, as it will create chances for both of you to rekindle
the flame. Do not worry about how you will survive the breakup.
Here are some tips on how to stay away from
your ex.:
Staying Away
Just stick with it. It will be hard at first not to
keep in touch with your ex, but it will get easier eventually. Be discipline in
reminding yourself not to fall into the trap of wanting to get back together
and have faith in yourself.
Politely ignore all your ex’s attempts to contact
you. Your ex may feel bad for breaking up with you, or remain concerned about
you and still care. Try to reject or avoid these contacts by telling him/her
that you need some time alone.
Avoid face-to-face contact with your ex. Try to avoid
meeting your ex as much as possible. Do not go and look for your ex, or allow
any chances for him/her to meet with you. Besides this, you should also
consider avoiding his/her close friends and relatives.
Go with your plans. To stay away from your ex, you
should make your own plans to distract yourself from meeting your ex. People
around may give you lots of advice, but it is best to stick with your own
plans unless you can make the best choices out of the advice given.
Do not listen to rumors. People spread rumors just to
make you feel upset or it is sometimes done unintentionally. Do not get caught
up with those negative comments; move away or excuse yourself from listening to
them.
On the plus side there are also tax reliefs and
benefits to be enjoyed in this type of investment. At the very least if the
property is considered a good buy; the risks the owner is likely to face are
comparatively lower than other types of investments with higher risk
ratios.
Chapter 5:
Start a breakup diary
Synopsis
To help you feel better after the breakup, it is
always better to put things in writing. To start a breakup diary is simple;
prepare a notebook and a pen. However, the choice of how to make it personal is
up to you. A breakup diary can come in many forms, either being a journal,
scrapbook, or a memoir – choose the best that can help you to survive your
breakup.
A Diary
When you write in bad or stressful moments, you
will usually end up feeling better. Writing out what you most probably would
keep to yourself will help you to vent out your anger, grievance, unhappiness,
etc.
You will gain more control of your life. At night
before sleeping, write down what had happened in the day or any events in your
life. This enables you to reflect back, on what you have done and allows you
to correct your mistakes if you have any.
It clears your mind. You put creativity in writing
about your life events, such as word choice, the format (poems, dialog, plain
text, etc), or you could use drawings rather than writing. These actions allow
your thoughts to be on creative ideas, rather than putting yourself in pain and
stress.
It improves your mental health. Write about your
stressful moments or emotional events. Therefore, having a breakup diary would
help in healing and recovery from a bad breakup.
You should consider the daily entries to be included
in your breakup diary format. Try to develop a habit of writing daily. However,
it is okay if you miss out any day – just move on with your current day’s
events. Do remember to keep this diary personal and private, so that you can
release your thoughts freely.
Chapter 6:
Gaining strength with friends and family
Synopsis
Wherever you are, your friends and family are the
ones who will be available for you at all times. Never forget that your friends
and family members are the most important people in your life, even with or
without a life partner.
These are some of the reasons why you can gain
strength from them, particularly after breakups:
Getting Strength
They are there for you. Your family members are the ones
who are concerned about you the most. Your close friends would support you in
your decisions. These people are the ones who surround you most of the time and understand you the most.
You will get the best advice. Your family and
friends give you practical and reasonable advice because they know you best,
your personality and character. They know what is best for you to hear and thus
attempt to give advice.
They will try their best to help you to get out of
bad relationships. They will never fail you. When you are upset, family and
friends may take you away for a break or just to enjoy and have fun. When you
have no idea where to release your thoughts, your best pal will prompt you to
speak of your mind.
They may help sort out problems with you. Even if
you want reconciliation with your ex, they will find give advice on whether is
it worth a try. When you find it hard to bear the heartbreak, your family and
friends will stay connected to you to make sure you will be all right, or maybe
help you by trying to fix you up with a better future partner.
They are good listeners. Never neglect this fact.
Your family and friends are the ones who are willing to hear from you and
genuinely feel sorry for you and help you as best as they can.
Chapter 7:
Work hard and keep yourself busy
Synopsis
You should not become more negative after you experienced a
bad breakup. You should not be a sad, depressed, and pathetic person for too
long as this may become a habit. You must understand that even though you lost
your partner of whom you loved most, you did not lose everything.
- -
Stay Busy
Work hard. This is the time for you to strive
harder for yourself, and achieve greater performance in your work. Work towards
getting yourself a salary raise, a higher promotion, or a great offer that
satisfies you.
If possible, relocate yourself to a better place.
Move to another place for better job opportunities or use it as a way of
staying away from your ex, and avoiding any contact. This will allow you to pay
full attention to your work.
Take up more recreational activities. Go for gym
sessions, cycling, walkathons, and any other physical activities which will
benefit you and your physical health too.
Get involved in social groups, like attending church
activities, volunteering, etc. You may also practice meditations to bring about
emotional, spiritual, and mental balance.
When you keep yourself busy,
You find yourself gaining greater self-confidence.
Breakups make you develop low self-esteem, making you feel inferior because
someone you loved the most rejects you.
You grow in maturity and become a better person. You should
immerse yourself with your work and keep yourself busy with helpful
activities, forcing yourself to stay away from feeling
depressed which may cause negative indulgence such as heavy drinking, sleeping
around, or even suicide.
You do not have to worry about your future. At least after a breakup, you have a stable working life or better work opportunities. You may
find yourself a better future partner in the most unexpected way. Besides,
through better working performance, you can prove to your ex that life without
him/her still goes on.
Chapter 8:
Taking care of yourself
Synopsis
Breakups can be very painful, as someone you loved and
spent time with the most, now rejects you, or that someone who once loved you
the most no longer does. Since you cannot reverse the breakup, it is time for
you to lift your spirits up, be strong, and survive the relationship. It can be
hard to pick yourself up, but you can start with the first step – taking care
of yourself.
Take Care
Do not let yourself fall sick. Do not allow the negative
feelings and emotions to affect your physical health. Avoid thinking too much.
Do not get too depressed as it could make you physically weary, which
may affect your daily routines. Most importantly, get enough rest and sleep.
Avoid self-destructive habits. Do not take drugs. Do not
start smoking heavily, or become drunk often. These will never help you to feel
better; instead, they may destroy you, over time. Do also bear in mind, besides
your ex, there are people out there who still care and love you, especially
your family and friends.
Do not fool around with love. Before you fully understand
and handle the breakup, do not rush into the next relationship; do not go
around sleeping with others, just because you want to get back at your ex or
because you feel no one cherishes you anymore. Please respect yourself, and do
not lower your self-esteem.
Keep up with your daily routines. After the breakup,
release your emotions. Cry hard, be sulky, and be angry but don’t indulge in
these for too long. Get back to your daily routines as soon as possible.
Getting back to normal or even become a better person is better for you and
those around you. Learn to focus on happy thoughts and actions.
Chapter 9:
Moving on & start a new lifestyle
Synopsis
Staying positive is the best way to heal your pain and
recover from a bad breakup. Do not let yourself falls deeper into depression
after the breakup, and you must understand that there could be others who depend
on you – your working partner, your colleagues, your family, and friends, or
your children. There are many great things in the future-ready for you to discover
and own.
Move
On
Getaway. You may consider changing your working location or settle your life somewhere else. Go overseas for further studies or better
job opportunities if you can. This is a good way of getting rid of thoughts of
the breakup and living with past memories.
Increase your knowledge. Start having reading habits, or do
plantings, etc. You can start a new lifestyle by indulging in something that
you would love to do and it can benefit you. You may even learn more by taking
lessons in a different language, cooking, golf lessons, or you can further your
studies to get a Ph.D. degree.
Pamper yourself. Now as you are being single, give yourself
a better life. Go for relaxation spa, reflexology, or pick up Yoga, practice
meditations to enhance your outer and inner beauty. Pick up a sport, a hobby, or
interest to do when you are free. Socialize with others, as it provides a
healthier well-being condition, mentally, psychologically, and emotionally.
Hang out with your business partners even after work for leisure. Have a nice
shopping day with your best girlfriends.
When you are ready to move on and leave behind the breakup
completely, make the right decision for yourself, to find a better future
partner for a more serious relationship, or stay being single. This time, try
not to let it fail again because you experienced this painful heartbreak
before.
Wrapping Up
Some breakups may be horrible due to difficulties in fixing
big issues. Some people may experience domestic violence or having a partner
who violates their own personal rights.
Some are so attached
to their partner, that they do not have any idea, how to survive the breakup.
If nothing else works, for you to survive a breakup, it is better to seek
professional help or counseling to start the recovery process.
Counselors give you professional advice. You may get the
answers that you are seeking, from counseling sessions. Counselors will give
you the most appropriate and professional advice that best suits your
situation.
You will be encouraged to make a positive change.
Counselors lead you to see the bigger picture on your current issues and open
your mind. They also try to show you opportunities to change your situation.
Counseling may help in solving a particular problem, which
triggers the pain from the bad breakup. Seeking counseling may also help you to
get out of depression and stress, allowing you to be less anxious.
Counseling guides you to handle the issues that you find
hard to get rid of. Counseling sessions may help you to get rid of your heavy
negative emotions and feelings after the breakup, such as sadness, grievance,
feeling of remorse, etc. Counseling may
also help you to control your aggressiveness.
You begin to understand yourself better. Through counseling sessions, you
may realize some of your own mistakes or what is the main cause of the breakup,
which slowly allows you to be set free from the bondages.
Get rid of addiction. If you fall into addictions such as
drugs, smoking, alcohol, or any other vice activities after the breakup,
counseling helps you to stay away from them and leads you back on track with
your daily healthy routines.
0 Comments